Jordan Peterson – How To Fight Social Anxiety

Published by Jan Heaney on

Jordan Peterson – How To Fight Social Anxiety


Let’s say you’re socially anxious. Okay so, what happens when you’re socially anxious? You go to a party, your heart’s beating Why? The party is a monster. Why? Because it’s judging you. And its judging you, it’s putting you low down the dominance hierarchy. Because that’s what a negative judgement is And that interferes with your sexual success. And that means that you are being partially evaluated by nature itself Right, so you aren’t confronting the dragon of chaos when you go into the social situation. And so what you do You’re like this, you hunch over. And that’s low dominance, I’m no threat He well that’s not gonna get you very far You know, but that’s a logical thing to do, in, in the, in the face of a tyran “I’m no threat” You know, you look at the king and you’re dead. I’m no threat, I’m hunched over. And then what’s happening internally “How and what are people thinking about me, what are people thinking about me.” “Am I looking stupid?” “Am I looking foolish, geez I’m awkward, I hate being here, man I’m sweating too much.” It’s all, internalized. Right, it’s all self-focused. The, the, the eye isn’t worki-. The eye isn’t working! What do you tell people stop, dont stop thinking about yourself, cuz you cant It’s like, dont think of a white elephant White elephant, white elephant, white elephant You can’t tell someone to stop thinking about something because they get caught in a loop What you do with socially anxious people is you say Look at other people Look at them Right. Why? ’cause if you look at them you can tell what they’re thinking And, unless you’re terribly socialized, and some people are, some people have no social skills and so The reason they cant go to party is because they dont know how to introduce themselves. Like they’re just, noone ever taught them how to behave And so they’re really good- candidates for behaviour therapy. ‘Cause you walk them through the process of how you actually- manifest the procedures that are associated with social acceptability. But most people aren’t like that, they have the ability So, if they’re really introverted and higher neurotism(?). They can usually talk quite well to someone one on one. Why? ‘Cause they look at them! but/what if I look at you It’s another thing to do if you’re ever speaking to a group of people Never! speak to the group of people. That doesnt exist! you talk to individuals. And then they reflect for you the entire group! ‘Cause theyre all entrained So you look at one person They broadcast to you what everyone is thinking and, you know how to talk to one person So it’s easy So As soon as you focus on the person, not you Push your attention outwards, use your eyes to push your attention outwards And you start watching, well then all your automatic mechanisms kick in And you stop being awkward. ‘Cause if we’re talking, and I’m looking here- I dont know what you’re gonna do next And I’m gonna put, dysjunctions, they’re like a- Bad chords in the melody of our- Of our conversation. And the reason is I’m not paying attention. So that’s why they eye is at the top of the pyramid. It’s like- The thing that enables you to win the set of all possible dominance hierarchy is the eye! Pay attention Pay attention. That’s the critical issue. That’s why the egyptians worshiped Horus That’s why Horus was the thing that rescued Osiris from the depths It’s the capacity to pay attention What do you pay attention to most? *CLAP* What your right hemisphere signals as anomalous It attracts your attentions. Like, this isn’t going quite right I’m not looking at that. WRONG! That’s what you look at. That’s what you look at. What’s not going right, because that’s- See that’s the terrible monster that might eat you but it’s also the place where you get all of the information. So That’s why it’s useful to have discussions with your enemies Because they will tell you things you do not know And that’s such a great thing because, if you don’t know them hewell you’re not very smart, are you? You know, there may be a time when you go somewhere and that’s the thing you need to know And maybe your enemy will tell you why you are such a fool You know, and a bunch of other things that are not true too but Even one thing that’s accurate, it’s like, yeah thank’s very much man, maybe I’ll do some work on that And, I wont have to carry that forward So, and then thats part of the reason again why the terrible predator- It’s always the terrible predator that has the gold. It’s like, it’s the person that delivers the message that you do not want to hear So it’s rough, it’s rough. But it doesnt matter, life is rough.


100 Comments

Blck Ntrovert TV · July 22, 2019 at 5:32 am

No fap! 🤷

Psykonaut · July 22, 2019 at 3:15 pm

goes to a party and stares at someone for hours

Book Butterfly · July 22, 2019 at 3:41 pm

Jesus so apparently I’m socially anxious now

Héctor E · July 22, 2019 at 6:05 pm

The eyes chico , they never lie.

Al Chavez · July 22, 2019 at 7:07 pm

Overall i like the speech but what is it based on??? It seems most things he says are from his thought expirements and only tangentially from real ones, like those people that make all kinds of conclusion from quantum physics… Joe Rogan cough cough

David Matine · July 22, 2019 at 9:19 pm

I'd really like to be in that class

Smiddy Smith · July 22, 2019 at 9:32 pm

Buy a gram of cocaine

WhaleUltimatum · July 23, 2019 at 12:42 am

I just took acid and it told me my issues, (don't do this fyi, but do some research into psycadelics being used a psychological medicine)

Winston Carter · July 23, 2019 at 3:52 am

Dude wtf this is me in class, like I literally don't look at anyone except maybe the professor. I'm screwed in the real world.

Gregor Coetzee · July 23, 2019 at 5:11 am

The reason why introverts exist is because until relatively recently in our evolutionary history, it was extremely dangerous to trust other human beings.

Perhaps if society collapses the Itrovert will once again become evolutionary relevant. Until then please don't try and force us to integrate. Most of us are to shy to state that it will never happen but that is the case. No one can overcome their biology completely. Just let us be.

VoltZ · July 23, 2019 at 12:48 pm

This is nice

NillerMann · July 23, 2019 at 1:30 pm

Goodness me he is good!

Nicholas Wood · July 23, 2019 at 2:19 pm

So nice to see a teacher who isn't using his job as a professor as a vehicle to fuel his ego, but rather a place to teach people all kinds of things, to help them!

Tomi Stenqvist · July 23, 2019 at 3:22 pm

”WRONG!!!”

Chef Tony · July 23, 2019 at 11:30 pm

The Party is a Monster 🙃

Geraldo's nose · July 24, 2019 at 1:47 am

What does he mean by enemies? I don't follow.

Andrew · July 24, 2019 at 3:07 am

I don’t think he answered the question

Võ Thái Sơn · July 24, 2019 at 3:59 pm

I've been thinking about the white elephant.

Sbarbatello · July 24, 2019 at 4:06 pm

Thanks dad

Erwin Schrödinger · July 24, 2019 at 7:29 pm

a la persona que escribió los subtítulos en español le pido que por favor que repita primaria

RobExploit · July 24, 2019 at 7:42 pm

Pop a xanax

Karmaindustrie · July 25, 2019 at 1:07 am

kafkaesque

It's always sunny in Goa · July 25, 2019 at 3:39 am

Life is rough – Jordan peterson

Escape · July 25, 2019 at 8:36 am

what if you can't talk one on one either. you have nothing to say to them nor do their topics interested you

Teodor Recabarren · July 26, 2019 at 12:05 am

This was uploaded on my birthday. I will consider this a sign

B R I C K. · July 26, 2019 at 8:50 am

When you realize that you can’t talk to someone one on one

thegrandfinale2 · July 26, 2019 at 1:35 pm

It's a dog eat dog world out there.

Danilo Gustavo · July 26, 2019 at 10:17 pm

This man just described me.

Voltspear · July 27, 2019 at 4:55 am

Indeed, Sir Oswald Mosely spoke with Hitler, know your enemy, would of been a great prime minister if he tried to.destroy.it from within

Preto do Zimbabwe · July 27, 2019 at 12:21 pm

I need behaviour therapy

Erick Hetfield · July 27, 2019 at 5:40 pm

And to those who don't have the social skill?

Kaelon Drae · July 27, 2019 at 9:20 pm

Jordan Peterson is like the modern Alan Watts, but even more accurate because he has clinical practice.

F4CT0R · July 27, 2019 at 9:52 pm

I love his body language and gestures it's so much easier to follow with him doing that instead of just listening to his voice 😀

David2142 · July 28, 2019 at 1:06 am

Not trying to promote smoking weed but my anxiety would go through the roof when I tried talking during a group sesh, and the more I did it the easier it got for me to speak publicly when I was sober

Aegon Targaryen · July 28, 2019 at 2:22 am

Thanks Jordan I went to a party with people I didn’t know and looked at someone and he said THE FUCK YOU LOOKIN NIGGA!? I said you’re the dragon and I’m here to slay you, moments later I was shot 3 times. I’m writing this from the ICU.

Yuri Orloff · July 28, 2019 at 3:58 am

The solution to social anxiety is physicality, getting out of one's own headspace and dissipating neurotic energy through exercise and activity.

SINGULA EORUM · July 28, 2019 at 5:53 am

Is that a Muslim listening to Jordan Peterson?

iEat Crayons · July 28, 2019 at 7:10 am

Okay so the eye is the key. What if you’re terrible with eye contact? I usually cant look at someones eyes for more than 3 seconds before i start to feel uncomfortable. Believe me i’ve tried to improve on it but im afraid its one of those things that’ll always remain.

stvillasquad · July 28, 2019 at 7:19 am

In the pursuit of dealing with social anxiety I ended up being psychopathic, I think I overshot this one lmao

spiddyman007 · July 28, 2019 at 8:16 am

Don’t be a pussy

Koudesu Boku wa Koudesu · July 28, 2019 at 10:37 am

I just realized i have social anxiety.

Tomba 2 · July 28, 2019 at 1:17 pm

Why is Jordan so pale?

Yoav Sigler · July 28, 2019 at 4:31 pm

This actually was an unexpected solution. I expected to hear something about stuff like being confident. This is a real eye opener

JT Garcia · July 28, 2019 at 5:33 pm

I'm socially anxious but I still stand up straight.

Justin · July 28, 2019 at 5:51 pm

Rick Sanchez back at it again

BoobieNizer · July 28, 2019 at 9:14 pm

What makes my soical anxiety kick in is; my nose get clogged up and I have trouble breathing.
It happens before I even get nervous. Any tips, someone?

Damien Bee · July 28, 2019 at 9:50 pm

Really good as always, but what bounces in my head now is, "Life is Rough, suck it up".

SpicyReich · July 29, 2019 at 2:41 am

Hello other socially awkward people.

Fanmail Only · July 29, 2019 at 3:05 am

If you slow it down to 0.75 speed and don’t look at the screen, it’s like listening to a guy who’s just hit the bong and is throwing out some serious life lessons

Pierre R · July 29, 2019 at 3:22 am

I’m still thinking of a white elephant

Michael Malley · July 29, 2019 at 11:24 pm

I have social anxiety and I don't have that thought process at all. For me it's more of a overload of information. That creates a higher level of of noticing potential threats and noticing things like dominant positioning and stances. Who's where and why? My shoulder is never lowered and people tend to think I am more confident and comfortable than I am because of my natural positioning.. It absolutely triggers a lowered type of fight or flight and if I am bumped into or feel threatened I absolutely will punch someone. I have had to leave several times in order to collect myself and it's not something I can control, however I feel it as it builds. Creates something like tunnel vision and can override rational thought. So in that regard and that being said I am a huge fan of Jordan Peterson but I respectfully disagree with you on this topic sir.

Omer YOLAL · July 30, 2019 at 10:03 am

Peterson, i love you, but you can't survive Bird Box with that way of thinking. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Kenneth Carazo · July 30, 2019 at 6:16 pm

Good advice! But linear! Not applicable to all cases of SA!

APE KONG GAMER · August 3, 2019 at 3:44 am

Harsh

CoNnErW 125 · August 3, 2019 at 3:18 pm

I actually love this guy

3 piece soda · August 3, 2019 at 5:11 pm

Human society (a majority) is by far the most illogical, vile, cruel and unprogressive thing in existence.

adamsaadrocks · August 4, 2019 at 11:10 pm

I wish I had a professor like this.

Lucidツ · August 4, 2019 at 11:40 pm

I used to just get so high till I couldn't think or feel those feelijgs and feel free like a child. But to feel always wothout it, seems impossible.

Eden Lov · August 5, 2019 at 3:37 am

I’m perfectly fine in groups of people but I have extreme anxiety one on one. Like, I can sit in a 300 person college classroom for 2 hours and feel fine but I start freaking out once someone starts talking to me. I make eye contact and everything, I just have no idea how to properly socialize. Everybody seems to have all these questions and stories to ask and tell people and I can’t think of a single thing to say. I’m 20 and I still don’t know what to do. I think I need that therapy he was talking about

Reveuse · August 5, 2019 at 1:09 pm

Jeremy Irons is great!

Overcharge · August 5, 2019 at 3:47 pm

Ha ha Jordan Petersonhttps://images.app.goo.gl/BUfYRkfzJ1rfw3Eq7

Shweta Drews · August 6, 2019 at 10:10 am

What if I look at them and it confirms what I think they’re thinking?

RAGHAV · August 6, 2019 at 1:12 pm

So is there any difference between Shyness and Social anxiety?

Captain Nemo · August 6, 2019 at 4:57 pm

My heart is beating…cause of the lines

Independence · August 6, 2019 at 9:58 pm

Now I only picture a white elephant thanks for that

Nicky Nicks · August 7, 2019 at 1:05 am

Wow… that’s so true. But weirdly enough, I get a lot more anxious talking one on one than in a group because when in a group there are other people to add to the conversation and most of the time you’re just listening. But in one on one conversations there tends to be many awkward silences!

Paul Fasse · August 7, 2019 at 3:05 am

REBT – unconditional self acceptance. ‘I don’t need the approval of others for my own self acceptance!’ Done.

Bang · August 7, 2019 at 4:36 am

I sweat more at school then when I go to the gym

Mike F. · August 7, 2019 at 6:56 am

wow. all I can say is This man is a blessing.

HoarderCatG · August 7, 2019 at 12:10 pm

This shit got illuminati real quick

red_array · August 7, 2019 at 2:42 pm

This is one little trick for a very specific type of social anxiety– approaching or interacting in large groups of people, and assumes social skills are already in place. But social anxiety can be a much broader issue, and the negative thoughts we have can be far harder to shake than this indicates. For the broader "social anxiety disorder" as defined in DSM, you can also check out the dare response as well as cognitive behavioral therapy. Also techniques exist to help with conversation such as writing down topics or questions ahead of time, and numerous others.

Saved by Jesus's Blood · August 7, 2019 at 9:09 pm

Jesus is The answer

komo cakeps · August 8, 2019 at 11:27 am

how to fight social anxiety? by realizing that we live in a clown world and that you want nothing to do with it.

Shadowx Talion · August 8, 2019 at 12:01 pm

All u need is trow ur self in situations that gives u anxiety over nover again! Then u will simply find out its not a big of a deal!

Tom Travels · August 8, 2019 at 8:28 pm

I love this guy. He inspires me to become a clinical psychologist and support those with mental health difficulties.

Buddhism Hotline · August 8, 2019 at 11:31 pm

so basically judgement from other people is what brings other people down understandable

COLIN TOSH · August 9, 2019 at 6:48 am

You grow a pair

Redden Molina · August 9, 2019 at 7:02 am

One thing I do when meeting new people is treating them like I’ve met them already and act comfortable around them.

DeadShot!! · August 9, 2019 at 1:05 pm

Last part about discussions is so fucking true

ryan allshouse · August 9, 2019 at 8:48 pm

He’s a spaz and has very mixed thoughts

KeyFreak · August 10, 2019 at 6:36 am

What helped me a ton when I had that certain degree of social anxiety, was realizing that I’m just like everyone else: that everyone had their own fears and challenges but nobody really shows their insecurities.
What I had to realize to grow out of my anxiety was that just because someone acts cool, doesn’t mean they are.

Angelos Keleperas · August 10, 2019 at 9:04 am

I'm visually impaired, so yeah what now

ukLeeham720 · August 10, 2019 at 9:55 am

"You're at a party…" no I'm not, I don't go because of social anxiety

Alyssa · August 10, 2019 at 12:36 pm

Basically what he talked about is looking at someone and speaking to them directly, focusing on them. But what makes people socially anxious is what that person is actually saying. They might feel intimated by the other person or struggle holding a conversation etc.

Infinite Choices · August 11, 2019 at 12:38 am

I noticed that the older i got the less social i became because i turned out to be such a geeky person. No one (at school litterly) likes to talk about nerdy topics, having this in mind i found it hard to talk about mundane boring stuff and stopped talking all together for two years (last two). Now im socialy anxious…

The Apemen · August 11, 2019 at 7:58 am

By doing it. Whatever your brain tells you not to do, FUCKING DO IT.

Ieirinka · August 11, 2019 at 3:28 pm

And what about social anxiety when you speak on the phone…

Mario Fernández M. · August 11, 2019 at 5:59 pm

I wish this man was my dad

Erik Wicktor · August 11, 2019 at 8:01 pm

Answer: drink, a lot

DopWopBoppyNop · August 11, 2019 at 10:44 pm

I beat social anxiety by developing a superiority complex lol. Took a while to get rid of it later on, but hey whatever works right

Mirrez Music · August 11, 2019 at 11:35 pm

I just realised that I actually don't know how to properly introduce myself

Andrzej M · August 12, 2019 at 3:08 am

This would explain why I always look at my high school teacher during presentations in front of the class.

burns83 · August 12, 2019 at 11:52 am

With life goals

pls forgibe me senpai · August 12, 2019 at 2:37 pm

Thanks budget doctor who

Toxic Stoic · August 12, 2019 at 4:37 pm

This is very accurate. I had brutal social anxiety when i was younger but then someone told me to stop looking at the ground because when you are looking at the ground around other people then you are alone. Its all in your head and if you actually look up you see that there is nothing to be worried about.

Simply Mindfulness · August 12, 2019 at 5:27 pm

"You are confronting the Dragon of chaos"… wow… what a way of looking at it!

Ali İhsan Elmas · August 12, 2019 at 9:09 pm

"It's rough. But it doesn't matter, life is rough."

Eli Lozano · August 12, 2019 at 9:43 pm

Thank you Mr. Peterson

BlightFilms · August 13, 2019 at 12:59 am

JBP is for whiny nervous beta boys that are afraid of women LOL

ColinF · August 13, 2019 at 4:16 am

Is he wearing two mics?

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