HORROR VIDEOGAMES Through the Ages!! (Let’s Play) | Thomas Sanders
Thomas: WARNING! I am doing a warning before this video. We are going to be covering some horror video games today, so for any of my young or sensitive viewers out there, please be warned. There is going to be some graphic imagery, troubling imagery, possibly. I’m just letting you guys know. Go talk to a parent, get some consent… some of this stuff scared me. Also epilepsy warning, just in case. And, spoilers, in case any of you out there wanted to play any of the games we’re about to cover. ALRIGHT! GOING ON! I’m so nervous… I’m so nervous for this video. Joan: Why are you nervous? Thomas: I’M SO NERVOUS! [Intro Music] What is up everybody? Today we are going to be playing more video games. BUT this video has a theme… It’s May, and you know what that means… HORROR! –which is horrible for me because I hate horror video games. I despise them… But Joan and Talyn are making me do this… So we’re doing it. We will be taking on 3 different horror video games from 3 different eras. So let’s get to it, shall we? Boom! Alright. We got the floor set up. Perfect. I’m gonna introduce you to my friends right now. Joan, come on up. [Door creaks as they appear] Talyn, come on up. [Door creaks as they appear] Joan: Did I hurt ya? Thomas: Never, you could never hurt me. Joan: Good. Joan: Good. Thomas: Come on in. Scooch up. I think I smell good. Talyn and Joan: Yeah! Thomas: Okay… And for this video we also have somebody helping us out– cue over to Camden! Joan: On the camcam! Thomas: YES! Joan: Go Camden! Filming on the camcam! Thomas: Camden are you just going to be a “voiceless character” for this particular video? Camden: I can’t- Thomas: Alright! You’re going to be a voiceless character, I’m just kidding. Joan: Shut the [Bleep] up! Thomas: No, you can talk. Camden say hi. Camden: Hi? [Voice crack] Thomas: Our first game is 1989’s infamously infuriating Friday the 13th video game adaptation for the NES. In this game you play as one of the 6 camp counselors, and you fight off… bats, wolves, zombies, and Jason by tossing rocks at them. That’s your starting weapon anyway. The objective of the game is to rescue the children and your fellow camp counselors, and survive the 3 nights while attempting to find and kill Jason. This game is pretty widely disliked… Writer Christopher Grant once called it ‘craptacular.’ You wanna turn the volume up a little bit? Joan: Yeah, let’s get it started! Ha! Thomas: So we’ve got a nice little.. uh… Pokemon world map here. I wanna do this one ’cause he just seems so happy. Joan: Yeah that guy next to him seems like a little less happy. Talyn: Yeah that one’s a Dorito. (Thomas laughs) Thomas: Do we want to pick the Dorito? Joan: Um sure, I like Doritos. (Thomas reads the text in a deep voice) Use the torch to light the fireplaces Oh we’re just doing
Joan: Okay GO!
Thomas: Menial labour Talyn: Wow wow! Joan: Fight- Fight the zombies! Thomas: Oh my gosh, what? (Talyn laughing) Thomas: That was fast! Can I go in? Oh I can! Joan: Okay cool. I like lookin’ at that little tush (Talyn: Are you going in a–) dude Joan: Oh look there’s a- Thomas: Oh I got a liiiighter! It’s a jar of marmalade! Joan: It’s a jar of Crofter’s! (Thomas and Talyn laugh) Talyn: Oh, look, Debbie! Thomas: Oh, there’s a woman Joan: Oh look, that’s a fellow camp counselor, you’ve got to save her. Thomas: Ah, Debbie (Joan: Uh throw a rock at her) (Thomas and Talyn laugh) Joan: Man, this game is craptacular! Thomas: Debbie, why do you live in absolute squalor? Thomas: Where are your kids, Debbie? (Talyn: How do you even go up there) Thomas: Change? Can I change with her? Thomas: Wait, that sounded weird. Joan: I wanna see– (Thomas: Oh I did! I’m now Debbie!) Talyn: Okay, Debbie did NOT look like that. (Joan: Yeah!) Thomas: Wait, when I changed with Debbie… …I don’t have a lighter anymore. Joan: Oh, jeez go back to– Thomas: I need to get Mark. (Talyn: Yeah.) Thomas: I’m doing better than I thought! Come here Mark! Thomas: Bring that sweet, sweet lighter over here! (Joan: Switch different person.) Thomas: Oh die Mark *giggles* Thomas: These look like the villains from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Joan: Oh wait what’s that?! (Thomas: Ooh, what is that?! Talyn: Woah!) Thomas: (reads note on screen) Go into one of the cabins by the lake Joan: What if Jason left that note?? Joan: He’s like, “gO iNTo ONe oF tHE cABins bY tHe LaKE” (Talyn: *laughs*) Joan: Go in that cave. Thomas: Okay, this is probably a bad idea… (Talyn: Where are the children?) Thomas: Oh there’s a thing! A jar of Crofter’s! Joan: Oh, a knife! (Thomas: Oh, a sword??) Joan: Oh you’re throwing knives now. Thomas: Am I really? Joan: Yeah, you threw a knife at that dude! (Talyn: That’s awesome.) Talyn: I don’t like this game! (Thomas: *laughs*) Thomas: Talyn’s partial to the non-demonization of bats. Talyn: Bats are cute little puppy baby bat, fly fly baby dogs! (said adorably like the adorable little human they are) Thomas: How do I get out of this cave?? (Joan: I dunno.) Thomas: This game is so– Thomas: Oh my- STOP, Mr. Wolf! Joan: I was thinking maybe we’d pass it off to Talyn–Oh, dead…? Thomas: Mark died. Joan: Those people all died! Jason got to all those counselors! Thomas: How?!?! Joan: Cause he’s goin’ around killin’ counselors! (Thomas: I didn’t even have a chance!) (Joan: Budumbumbudooom) Thomas: It’s not even- it’s Thursday the 12th! Thomas: Oh, there’s 15 kids that we have. Joan: Look how happy they all look! Thomas: They look real happy. Talyn, you find that cabin. Talyn: Oh, jeez! Talyn: Okay, I’m somewhere now… I can’t go this way. Thomas: Oh. Oh! Is that Jason?! (Talyn: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!) Thomas: OH! Thomas: *laughs* Talyn, come on! Fight, fight! Joan: You gotta fight ’em! (Thomas: Awww) Joan: Talyn you didn’t–you could’ve jumped over him! (Thomas: *giggling*) Talyn: Ohhhh… Thomas: Oh my gosh, it’s all up to Debbie. (Talyn: *laughs*) Joan: Okay, I’m ready to play–Oh I gotta press start. Thomas: Yeah. (Joan: Okay.) All: *various screaming* Thomas: He RAN at you! Joan: Oh I can’t jump over him, he’s too tall! I’m just gonna keep throwing. Thomas: Oh my GOSH, what are you supposed to DOOOO? (Talyn: How are you supposed to win this?) Thomas: Debbie… Thomas: What else were you supposed to DOOOO? Joan: “You and your friends are dead.” *all laugh* Thomas: Well I gotta say, in terms of difficulty, really frustrating. Joan: From now on we’ll rank how scary we think it’s gonna be, vs how scary it was, afterwards. Thomas: Okay. Joan: I think I would’ve ranked it as a one *tiny scare-o-meter yell*. Thomas: Yeah. I would say on the Scareometer, it’d be on the far ends. Thomas: I would say a one. *tiny scare-o-meter yell* Joan: Talyn? Talyn: Yeah. *tiny scare-o-meter yell* Thomas: So, uh, we’re moving right into the second game. Silent Hill 2? Joan: That’s right, boo. Thomas: *giggles* Talyn: *evident frustration* Joan: I like that little giggle in my face. Thomas: Yeah, I’m sorry, I apologize. Joan: No, you don’t have to apologize, I liked it. T: Oh good, okay. Thomas: Well all I was worried about was like, my breath… Talyn: *looks frustrated into the camera like in The Office* Thomas: That feels so good, you don’t understand. Talyn: *more The Office looks* Thomas: Sorry, that’s not even worth explaining to this video. Thomas: Our next gay- m-… Our next game is 2001’s Silent Hill 2 for the Playstation 2. Thomas: And later PC, Xbox, PS3 and Xbox 360. Thomas: A game which was, and continues to be a beloved game for fans of the horror genre. Silent Hill 2, like its predecessor, takes place in Silent Hill, Maine, a town that draws on the psyche of its visitors, and realizes a personalized, nightmarish reality, that reflects the individual’s specific fears and vices. Thomas: Throughout the game you collect a few melee weapons and firearms, but the game focuses more on solving puzzles and navigating the town. Thomas: In the game you play as James Sunderland, who is searching for his wife who had apparently sent him a letter, despite dying from a sickness three years prior. Thomas: Akihira Imamura who was a producer on Silent Hill 2 claimed that this game was probably aimed at an even more mature audience than the first game As this one was, according to him, “more immersive and disturbing”. Joan: How scary do we think this game will be? Talyn: A three *small/medium scare-o-meter yell* Joan: Three? Thomas: I’d have to agree, maybe a three *small/medium scare-o-meter yell* Joan: I’ll give it a five *medium scare-o-meter yell* Thomas: Really? Joan: Sure! Thomas: Okay. Joan:It’s supposed to be pretty scary. (Thomas: Yeah) Joan: It’s a classic. Talyn: I mean, I- Thomas: Alright, let’s try it Thomas: Oh man in the mirror *singing* I’m looking at the man in the mirror (Michael Jackson song) Thomas: *laughs* he did the facial thing! Joan: I’m terrified of public bathrooms!!! *Talyn and Thomas laugh* Joan: Oh, that’s his dead wife. Thomas: *singing* I’m going to marry Mary! Joan: You did. And she died of an illness. Thomas: And she died, okay. Talyn: Yeah. Thomas: Oh, I’m moving, (Talyn: *laughs*) Thomas: Okay. Talyn: Off to a real good start. Thomas: Off to a great start. Thomas: Where’s the EXIT? Thomas: Oh, Okay… Joan: I left a bathroom for humans only to find a bathroom for dogs. Thomas: I can now move Joan: Cool Thomas: Can I move faster? Can I get into this car? Thomas: Oh, there’s a- there’s a (Talyn: Oh, you got a map) Thomas: map Thomas: We are good to GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Sonic the Hedgehog music in the background) Talyn: The scariest thing is just how slow this game is. Thomas: Yeah, wow. (Talyn: OH!) Thomas: Oh, he can run! (more Sonic music) Joan: Stairs. (Thomas: Oh we can go downstairs.) Yeah… Thomas: To Toluca Lake… Joan: I’m tired of lakes! I had enough of Jason down by the lake! (Thomas: *giggles*) Thomas: Boy, this hill sure is silent Thomas: When they said that (Joan: Yeah) this was a silent hill, they delivered. *weird creepy noises* Talyn: Was that your footsteps or a monster? Thomas: I think it’s my footsteps. *more weird creepy noises* Thomas: Okay, that is not my footsteps, I will say that sound is slightly unsettling. Joan: *laughs adorably* Talyn: Oh, there’s a house! (Thomas: There’s a freaking well.)Talyn: Or a well? Thomas: There’s something in the well. “Looking at this makes me feel like someone’s… Thomas:… groping around *Talyn laughs* inside my skull.” Thomas: ??? Joan: Eughh. “Gives me a weird feeling.” Thomas: I would think that’s a weird fee- oh. Talyn & Joan: Oh. Joan: Oh it’s a ‘save game’. Talyn: So, when you feel a groping in your skull, it’s time to save. Thomas: It’s time to save the game. Thomas: Remember kids, when you feel a groping inside of your skull, Thomas: it’s time to save that game. *The More You Know music plays* Thomas: A lot of aimless wandering, am I going the right way? Joan: Are you in a grave- (Talyn: Ohh… Dope) Thomas: Oh I’m in a graveyard? Thomas: That spook level just went up- Oh! *Talyn and Joan laughing* Talyn: *still laughing*You got scared of a white screen!? Joan: Who’s this lady? Joan: Ooo it’s steamy (Thomas: Oh *nervous laughter*) Joan: She said there’s a main road that you can’t miss. Thomas: Oh I’m supposed to go into that main road? Joan: I think so. Joan: There are people who have played this game like 5 times at home, yelling at the computer. Thomas: I know, I, I, I’m- (Joan: Go Back!) disappointing everybody, I, this makes me look like such a noob Joan: Pwned Noob! Thomas: *giggling*Joan: *spelling out* n 0 0 b Thomas: This game is more frustrating than it is scary. Thomas: Oh that Bush scared me *laughter* Talyn: You should use your map. (Joan: Oh yeah) Thomas: Oh my god. *in frustration* (Thomas: Jee-muh-nattie!) Joan: Where are we going, are we going to Rosewater Park? Thomas: Where am I? Oh I’m the green arrow. (Talyn: Oh!) I’m the green arrow. *everyone laughs* Thomas: I’m like all the way over here next to Pleasant River which is hardly a name I would give to it. Joan: More like sh*t hole river!
All: *laugh* Joan: Are you going the right way now? Thomas: I definitely made sure that I was going the right way. (Joan: Okay no) Thomas: I’m going the wrong way.
All: *laugh* Thomas: *grunts of frustration* Thomas: I can’t even activate anything! (still frustrated) Joan: There’s nothing on the wall on the right (Thomas: *mashing those buttons*) Thomas: You can just hear me frustratingly (Joan: Click -click on the map) button-mashing Joan: Just real quick (*gate opening sound effect*) Thomas: Was there a freaking open gate just right there, Thomas: and I just wasn’t finding it?!?!?!?!?! Joan: You just walked through the “Keep Out” Sign. (Talyn: *Laughing*) Thomas: Can I walk off this hill?… No. Joan: It’s not “screaming to your death hill”! Joan: Here we go, there’s…SANDERS street!! (All: *laugh*) Joan: Buddy, you made it!!! Joan: Okay we’re going the right way. Thomas: What does this say? The ‘road…runner’? Talyn: You’re the roadrunner now, ’cause you’re running on a road. Joan: Who’s the roadrunner now? Meep Meep Motherf***er! *all laugh* All: Oh! (Talyn: Something’s happening!) Thomas: *reads screen* (Joan: bLoOD??) Thomas: Oh! Oh! (J: Oh what’s that thing??) Thomas: There’s something happening!!! There’s Something Happening. Joan: Follow the blood. Thomas: Oh, there’s a tavern. Talyn: Shots, shots, shots shots shots shots, shots (in the most monotone and energy lacking voice ever) Thomas: *giggles* Joan: Yeah, we need a gun. Good point Talyn. Talyn: Yup. Thomas: That is important. Joan: We need a gun– Joan: Ah, what the hell?! Thomas: The road… Joan: And also the sidewalk ends, Shel Silverstein! Shoutout to you Shel Silverstein fans! Talyn: Good sh*t!!! Thomas: There’s a marking on the map! Joan: You wrote it. Thomas: I go “Hm! The road ends! I’ll make a mark of that!” *all laugh* Thomas: Come to think of it, there is something a little weird about this place! *all laugh* Joan: Follow the blood. Thomas: Blood? Joan: There it is! Joan: Blood on the ground. Thomas: *with some sort of rhythm* Blood on the ground, blood on the ground, (Talyn: a horrible band) looking like a fool with your- Thomas: Okay, I’m following the blood. Hello, Mr. Shadow. Thomas: *as Shaggy from Scooby Doo* SCOOB? Where are ya, Scoob? Joan: Scoob, I think I saw Hell Spawn!!! All: *Laugh* Thomas: I do feel like the main character in a normal like thriller movie – they’d be like: *in loud voice* “HELLOO? Is anybody out there?! Mary!?!” Joan: What’s in there, dude? Thomas: Can we go in here? Thomas: What is this? All: *various reactions including giggles from Talyn* Joan: Please add in a little toot (Thomas and Talyn: giggles) whenever *laughs* he squatted like that! *toot sound effect* Joan: Oh I got a health drink! Thomas: Health drink… mmm… Joan: KOMBUCHA All: *laugh* Thomas: I don’t know where I’m going… Oh, he’s sneaking in. There’s a radio. Joan: Oh, look! Talyn: What are you doing? Thomas: Hello! Welcome to my cave! Talyn: *laughs* Joan: I don’t like the look of this thing.
Thomas and Talyn: *laugh* Joan: F*ck it up! Thomas: How do I-? Joan: *laughs* Thomas: How do I fight him? Joan: Oh, jeez! Did you see that? Thomas: He’s spewing something at me. (Joan: Ohhhh. *Laughs*) Talyn: Ewwww! Thomas: OH, I have to aim it AND- oh my gosh. Thomas: So it was just this. *flails arm clutching imaginary weapon back and forth* Talyn and Joan: *giggles* Joan: I don’t know about you guys, but I peed my pants. Thomas and Talyn: *laugh* Thomas: *reads screen* What’s going on in this town? Talyn: *laughs* Joan: Do you hear that? Thomas: Yeah, it’s the static. Wait, no, (Joan: Ah!) what is that. Joan: AHH! Thomas: What?! Talyn: Why are you screaming? Joan: I don’t like that sound! All: *laugh* Thomas: What is that? OH! Thomas: There’s a thing! Joan: There’s a thing?
Thomas: There’s a shadow! Joan: AHHH!
Thomas: Behind you!
Joan: *more screams* Thomas: Turn around!
Joan: *even more screaming* Joan: DIEE! OHHH SH*T! Talyn: Hit it! Yeaaaah!
Thomas: Get it!
Joan: F*ck. Thomas: Hit it on the head! Joan: I just spit EVERYWHERE!
Thomas: *laughs* Joan: Oh, f*ck this thing.
Thomas: *laughs* Joan: *bleep* Joan: What the *bleep* that is that!
Talyn: What the hell is that!? Joan: OH MY GOD!
Thomas: Oh my goodness! It’s not dead yet
Talyn: *laughs* *Bleep*
Thomas: Is going down!
Talyn: Die! Joan: Okay. Let’s see where we are.
Thomas: *laughs* Thomas: Solid work.
Joan: I think I nailed it. Joan: Oh! There’s another one.
Thomas: Oh NOO! Joan: F*ck YOU!