Dumbest Fortnite Battle Royale Player

Published by Jan Heaney on

Dumbest Fortnite Battle Royale Player


Fortnite is not just cartoon PUBG, there are huge differences. For example, you can build stuff. And, while Fortnite was developed by a company that also makes a game engine, PUBG makes your computer sound like an engine. As I was downloading it, which took about 3 minutes, (tough luck Australia) I decided this was the game I was gonna give my life to. To become an expert… Then I came in second place in my first match by hiding in bushes. Really need to be able to cut these down. I should be celebrating my placement, but I feel hollow. I’m just too naturally talented at this. I feel bad for taking the award away from someone who deserved it, and didn’t hide in bushes like a camping asshole. Now, every match I play will just make me feel dead inside… Like I do in real life. I have to find a way to win, but at the same time let someone else win. What if I reach second place again, and then take suicide? I wouldn’t win, but I knew I could have. No, there has to be another way. That’s when I saw it, there’s a hole in the sky! If I can get up there, I can jump over the storm. Hmm… can’t build a tower. In the Bible, they built one and God invented languages so they couldn’t communicate. What if I build a tower here and the developers remove the chat feature? I’m instead going to have to build… a stairway to heaven. Yeah… that’s… yeah, I knew it. What I meant to say was, a staircase to the celestial sphere. The first try, I felt confident. I landed on a mountain, so I was closer to the sky. Things went great… Then I fell to the ground and died. I didn’t have enough material. Math is not my strongest subject. I need to spend more time gathering wood in a place with a lot of it. This song does not end. There. 40 stairs should be enough to reach space. I’m really making progress! And I forgot about the battle royale part. This game really needs a construction underway sign so people can build in peace. OK… I need to travel far away from the bus to avoid the whole online thing. In this swamp, no one will be able to find me. But flying this far away has given me less time to finish my construction. If I rush… I failed hard. Maybe I can build through the stor… Nope, it ripped my staircases to pieces. Not to worry, the water will slow my fall. That’s some hard water! This time I will finally succeed, I mean, look at his hair! And, I almost reached it. But then my character froze to death because it’s cold up there. Now you might say, “Go to the store and buy a jacket!” But they didn’t have one on sale. And even if they did, it wouldn’t have mattered because my character would have died from no oxygen I’m sure I probably could have solved that too but you know what, instead I’m gonna go do the DRUGS. That promising teenager died from an overdose ten minutes later. Hello, I’m Kilian. Yes, this entire thing was an anti-drug PSA. What led Battlemaster2005 down this path? “I feel bad for taking the award away from someone who deserved it.” Exactly! He didn’t try his best, because he considered people online to be human. Having empathy for other players? What a loser! So always try your best in a video game, or you will be sucking dick for heroin.


100 Comments

Kilian Experience · November 29, 2017 at 6:20 pm

Hi this is a quick little video I threw together while working on the Pokemon Platinum Garbage Guide.
Going to Dreamhack Winter on Saturday maybe more info on my twitter https://twitter.com/KilExperience?lang=en

W a l t e r · June 21, 2018 at 6:54 pm

The dumbest Fortnite player is

Anyone who plays the game

st0mp · June 21, 2018 at 8:24 pm

with the explorer suit you cant finally make it to space how will this saga countinue

snowlocko · June 30, 2018 at 4:14 pm

“That’s some hard water”

DatIsraeliGuy · June 30, 2018 at 8:09 pm

okay, I'm from a small town in Israel where we produce dairy products and are very big too.

Why did I tell you this? because the song in the background is the song we use in commercials and this video freaked me out, how the hell did you find it?

Faisal Odeh · July 2, 2018 at 7:28 am

i got a fortnite ad while watching

Vixen Hasbrouck · July 5, 2018 at 2:20 am

what did you dounload it one

Arthur Vetrin · July 6, 2018 at 8:23 am

Kilian you bamboozle, fortnite never had a chat feature!

Old Account · July 7, 2018 at 1:44 am

Playground mode just got out

Godric Green · July 11, 2018 at 1:53 pm

I wasn't expecting to hear Bolero here. You even managed to build the entire video on its continuously rising crescendo. I came looking for copper but I found gold.

Lol螿蒙ᏌᎢᎪ蒙螿 · July 13, 2018 at 9:01 am

Aussie number 1

Mad Gamer · July 13, 2018 at 7:31 pm

Fortnite makes kids consume drugs confirmed.

DREADHEAD LA · July 18, 2018 at 10:24 pm

I’m hella weak at fornite bruh I still be on that shit tho😂😂😂

Ninja's Son · July 20, 2018 at 10:34 pm

I’m not even Australian and it took five eternities to download it.

Drugernaughty · July 23, 2018 at 11:21 pm

pubggGGGAGAgdadbadboagd[

LenX Mutford · July 24, 2018 at 8:36 pm

Can I plz have your Fortnite account

dan broski · July 25, 2018 at 4:57 pm

By dumbest fortnite players do you mean every fortnite player?

The26 · July 26, 2018 at 8:00 am

water too hard

pls nerf

Your Name · July 29, 2018 at 3:24 am

Ha your trash at fortnite hAhAhaha

St1ckz · July 29, 2018 at 5:56 am

Just now i only realize that my internet speed was slow

ZeroHero PlaysRoblox · July 29, 2018 at 5:32 pm

Did you buy skull trooper

Animall bros. · July 29, 2018 at 9:07 pm

Of course you devoted your life to this, everyone HAS!!!

ZEPHYR · July 30, 2018 at 8:56 am

Holy sht that was you?!?!

Jaydenvlogs 302 · August 3, 2018 at 8:54 pm

You idiot jerk

John Link · August 3, 2018 at 10:44 pm

Fortnite is retarded

Joel Wilcox · August 4, 2018 at 1:14 am

That Australia burn hurt…

ElementalClash · August 4, 2018 at 9:16 pm

This dude sounds like Kermit the frog if he was Australian

XROSSplayXINO · August 5, 2018 at 5:27 am

Meh, at least i sucked a dick

Ant14nonymous · August 7, 2018 at 3:24 pm

YOUR CHANNELS SUCKSSSS IM NOT KIDDING YOUR CHANNEL SUCKSSSS IM JOKING

Gergő Sánta · August 16, 2018 at 7:43 pm

love the bolero part

cain · August 18, 2018 at 7:52 pm

2:50 bet you feel dumb

Ned Solly · August 18, 2018 at 8:46 pm

Skull trooper was in store…

Geckoarcher · August 23, 2018 at 3:00 am

I feel like there aren't enough comments praising the music. Bolero is a fantastic song!!!

JVS · August 31, 2018 at 6:03 am

Your dumb for playing fortnite

Pia Bjerre · September 9, 2018 at 2:45 pm

you sohuld buy ther thinks in the shop, then you would be rich

Jedinate6 · September 9, 2018 at 8:23 pm

2:36 THAT WAS SOME HARD WATER

Nox · September 15, 2018 at 9:11 am

"YOU CAN BUILD STAFF" LOL

Fortnite Gamer · September 15, 2018 at 11:05 am

Oh you’re trash look at me / 500 solo natches o WINS

Random Me · September 19, 2018 at 12:40 pm

Nah man, America's takes longer. Took me over 7 freaking hours!

I should be the worst player. Wanna know why? Because I play PUBG and prefer it.

Xtrm Sword · September 22, 2018 at 7:38 am

Took me 6 hrs to download fortnite…
Couldn’t even play it.

bilingual ppl · September 22, 2018 at 8:38 pm

You

SansGamer2006 · September 24, 2018 at 3:40 am

2:52 skull trooper :O

Gaming Topic · September 25, 2018 at 1:20 pm

That’s SOME HARD WATER

DissLikeYouTakeMyPiss 1 · September 26, 2018 at 2:17 pm

Spectating other fortnite mobile players is so cringey I can’t even bear to watch them in 50v50 or soaring 50s. They do the dumbest shit ever! I wish I screen recorded the performance of my team of 10-7 in soaring 50s. Players died to the storm, didn’t heal or pot up, had fire camps they could’ve used but didn’t, tried to shoot enemies with an AR from 200m away, shot-gunning when the other person is literally waaayyy out of range for the pellets to cause damage, still to this day ppl don’t know how to climb down a mountain by building stairs, carelessly wasting bullets and firing without aim on, 😒😒 having to shoot one bullet because you need to reload after wasting your bullets shooting aimlessly which then notifies the enemy to be made aware and can most likely get you during these situations, don’t even know “how to” or where the building button is at all (never touched or heard of the build button in their lives), healing out in the open literally in the middle of crossfire 😑😑 the list can go on forever from what I’ve seen. Season 5 and players play fresh out from season 1 in beta. OMEGALUL

manoj joshi · September 30, 2018 at 4:44 am

That's some hard water

Rogelio Romero · September 30, 2018 at 8:23 pm

this sucks

Jacob Lin · September 30, 2018 at 11:24 pm

THATS SOME HARD WATER

CyanCreator · October 1, 2018 at 1:31 pm

I downloaded Fortnite…

AND IT TOOK 3 DAYS!!!!

MR_ALIEN 3 · October 10, 2018 at 5:02 am

Why did the title us in french ???????

stormy 343 · October 10, 2018 at 6:32 pm

Fortnite is the worst game in the world

GoWiMu · October 17, 2018 at 4:09 pm

2:53 and 2:50 omg i wish i could travel back in time and buy all this stuff ( like who agrees)

Xervylle Aquino · October 30, 2018 at 5:01 am

Fortnite Mobile Takes Like 1 Hour To Load.

Lsom · November 5, 2018 at 8:22 pm

sucking dick for heroin, thats a win win situation

Zach Meinecke · November 6, 2018 at 2:22 am

T H A T ' S S O M E H A R D W A T E R

That swedish Guy · November 7, 2018 at 2:04 pm

Hej

Matt Richo · November 13, 2018 at 7:42 am

As an Australian this is a fair assessment 🙁

HexariaNoob · November 13, 2018 at 3:23 pm

224 rip moisty mire

Lazy Bastard · November 21, 2018 at 2:05 pm

you are genius

Carter Meyer · November 27, 2018 at 1:57 am

Now every match I play makes me feel dead inside like I am in real life whos watching in 2018??? LIKE 👍 IF you are 0:45 – 0:51

Eddiemate · December 2, 2018 at 11:42 am

0:18
You know normally I don’t have anything against these videos since they’re ironic, but fuck you.

playaboutpatforms · December 10, 2018 at 8:56 pm

lol

SethSuddenDeath · December 17, 2018 at 3:49 pm

The streamer Let's fortnites flaws shine like a light but the player base is to shit or to acceptable to realize it's starting to fall apart and still make fun of pubg 😂😂😂😂 Boi if you don't get you laggy default 18 sniper shots and he's still missing Oops killed me with a AR / BUILD/ Ass down

Snowy · December 25, 2018 at 2:17 am

This means killian is an OG

Alex A. · December 27, 2018 at 10:16 pm

Hard water is called vodka

Webblz 900 · December 27, 2018 at 11:44 pm

Fortnite is full of fucking retards. Like people who play random squads and go off on their own like fucking idiots

Also people who go to salty or retain both places known for too many people and not enough mats and guns but none the less retards go there all the fucking times and get killed by some sweaty nut try hards.

andy garzon · December 28, 2018 at 7:21 am

I personaly am an expert at the rpg fps game known as fork knife

Life of a Gamer · December 28, 2018 at 7:08 pm

You messed up not buying goul tropper

The Alterlion · December 29, 2018 at 12:05 am

2:52 Nowadays I feel sad for him

thanos the mad titan · December 30, 2018 at 5:55 pm

😣🍆💦

schmeef · January 2, 2019 at 1:56 am

I forgot to subscribe despite binge watching these

Cooɘiʞ · January 3, 2019 at 2:35 am

1 year ago

the mazzter · January 3, 2019 at 10:34 pm

Killian is playing on an actual potato.

GG D3spacitoShr3k · January 5, 2019 at 11:21 am

Yo kilian is an og lol

Santiago Barreto · January 5, 2019 at 4:19 pm

Lul

Gee Kid [myles] · January 11, 2019 at 10:29 am

Downloading fortnite took me about 2 n' a half minutes and i live in Australia

Funtime 101 · January 20, 2019 at 10:01 am

It’s season 7 now

Papi Despacito · January 22, 2019 at 2:22 am

Why did you move to fortnite? Are you this desperate Killian?

Austin & Natalee Vlogs · January 23, 2019 at 4:52 am

I won a victory royal 1st try, yet I am a f*** nube

muhammad daniel · January 29, 2019 at 11:44 pm

stop roasting my hometown bruv .

OhHelloSugar · January 30, 2019 at 5:03 pm

"cartoon PUBG" – not even 30 seconds in and he nails the perfect description. Bless.

_ AussieHorse · January 30, 2019 at 7:47 pm

I download in Australia it took 5 minutes

WYalmicW · February 16, 2019 at 2:48 pm

Kilean Experience?

CarJack · February 23, 2019 at 10:52 pm

Your whole channel is a plot twist

GamingTiger 005 · March 2, 2019 at 9:17 am

The hole in the sky is death

Titanic1912 · March 3, 2019 at 5:30 am

that part when im tired while making this commenthgybnghbtffffffffffffffffhc vchbdfaaaasssssssssnjhbm mrfsdgdf grs hfsyud bjnegksdhjbvjrdgsfyhfj hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjgt

Clisen109 · March 16, 2019 at 11:00 am

Is that bolero in the background?

Human · March 23, 2019 at 1:58 pm

He could have sold pixels on a screen for £900 if he got renegade raider

Scribe Cheekzz · March 30, 2019 at 9:41 pm

‘Thats some hard water’
I died

Pokémon Rom Hacking Official · April 8, 2019 at 2:07 am

I honestly hate Fortnite, but dis iz grate

Denis Pepic · April 11, 2019 at 9:16 pm

I remember when i watch this

Reupload hub · April 14, 2019 at 6:32 am

Fuck my diaper

Sebastian-Benedict Flore · May 27, 2019 at 11:49 am

Why are you playing Bolero in the background?

Completely Original Name · May 30, 2019 at 12:21 am

When I was watching this, Kilian had 666K subscribers.

Arunas Barkauskas · July 18, 2019 at 9:05 am

Its ninja

Thomas Newton · July 27, 2019 at 6:36 am

Your download speeds hurt me Killian

Yes I'm Australian

Mr. Norwegian Milk · September 5, 2019 at 3:15 pm

"And you'll be sucking dick for heroin"
Me, my cat and 5 neighbours:
"AND THAT'S THE KILLIAN EXPERIENCE!!!!"

manoj joshi · September 8, 2019 at 7:59 am

A sahairway to haven

Alex Duffy · September 25, 2019 at 11:13 pm

Noticed the bolero in the background, love it

TheCyberSleuth vb · October 6, 2019 at 9:04 pm

digimon music

I have an unoriginal profile picture · October 9, 2019 at 7:21 pm

fun fact:
in the second avengers crossover (yes, fortnite had two avengers crossovers), the iron man weapon had a glitch that allowed you to fly over the hole in the storm and prevented thanos from killing you, essentially letting you outlive everyone. kilian was right

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