10 Video Game Locations That Must Be a Nightmare to Clean

Published by Jan Heaney on

10 Video Game Locations That Must Be a Nightmare to Clean


We don’t often think about the cleaners,
caretakers and janitors of the world, cleaning up our messes and having to deal with the
horrors of public bathrooms (thank you for your service). However, the most unsung heroes of them all
are the cleaners for video game levels, mopping up the remains of NPCs, replacing the stolen
items and repairing the numerous locations you’ve smashed, crashed and exploded your
way through. What’s that you say? Video games don’t have cleaners? Haha, you’ll be telling me setups don’t
have real wizards next! Regardless, the job of tidying up after video
game players is a tough one, but someone has to do it, and I will be guiding you through
the most difficult to tidy levels of them all for if you ever find yourself in that
kind of profession. It always pays to know these things, after
all. I’m Ben from TripleJump, and here are 10
Video Game Locations That Must Be a Nightmare to Clean. 10. Aperture Laboratories – Portal Series
To say that Aperture Laboratories is in a bit of a state is an understatement of…
whatever century it is that the series takes place in. While it has been abandoned for many years
after the disastrous events of Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, the place hasn’t been
entirely devoid of life as GLaDOS continues on her testing of the portal gun; meaning
that maintenance is still required. Chell’s initial journey through the testing
chambers in Portal 1 showed a slightly shabby but still well kept state of affairs, showing
that someone or something was keeping things in order; whether it was an unseen robot assistant,
GLaDOS herself or perhaps some poor unfortunate caretaker constantly taken in and out of stasis
to clean up the remains of whatever most recent test subject failed the chambers. The test chambers themselves are difficult
enough to clean, with acidpits, high energy pellets, longfalls(if you don’t have leg
braces like Chell) and a homicidal supercomputer constantly insulting you; but the numerousoffice
spaces that you can see through windows in certain test chambers must just be an absolute
mess, with no humans having been in there for many, many years.Also, Rattman has taken
some tips from Julian Assange apparently, because he has made a real messbehind the
walls of the test chambers with no apparent regard for the other trapped inhabitants,
but considering that they aren’t easily accessible it’d be forgiven if you skipped
over it. Portal 2 shows us more of the areas outside
of the testing chambers, including several of the derelict offices that have been broken
into by birds, who had made nests and have made a real mess of the floor. However, considering that GLaDOS had been
offline for years by that point, none of the typical cleaning measures had been followed
for a while, so hopefully now she is back online and in charge of the facility once
again, she can start getting some semblance of order back into the place. I do pity the poor test subject who has to
help her clean it all up, though… 9. Bowser’s Castle – Mario Series
As we have said in a previous list, Bowser is hardly the best person to work for and
cleaning up after him must be a pretty tall order too. Dragons aren’t known for their cleanliness,
preferring to gather things in large piles than put them away anywhere, but the state
of his bedroom is really the least of your worries. Castles are difficult enough to clean in the
first place, with nooks and crannies all over the place to keep an eye on for wayward cobwebs
and grime; and with the cavernous ceilings and ornate stone detailing that litter the
place, you’ll need more than a cherry picker in order to reach them. Also, there isn’t enough chimney brushes
in the world to clean all of the pipes running throughout the place- Who did your plumbing
Bowser? Because I doubt it was Mario, considering
that would probably be a conflict of interest, considering he keeps on busting in every five
minutes to thwart your latest princess-napping scheme… although, if you could take a look
while you’re down there that’d save me a lot of time. The dusting is not the only thing that needs
doing though, with having to clean up the remnants of the smashed bricks and the carnage
that the bob-bombs cause whenever they explode. This place is a listed building, Mario. If a block looks breakable, that’s because
it is over 400 years old with immense historic value. Be aware of your history! Bowser isn’t the only resident of the castle
to clean up after, either, with piranha plants infesting the pipework and Hammer Bros never
picking up their projectiles; but dry bones proves hard enough of a challenge, falling
apart constantly and while they do reassemble themselves shortly afterwards they do tend
to leave bone dust and occasionally whole limbs behind. Whose arm is this!? 8. The Vaults – Fallout Series
The vaults are the arks of the Fallout universe, on which the future of humanity was rested,
containing the unirradiated humans lucky enough to have gained a space. But my god are they a faff around to keep
clean. Vault 111 may be easy enough, with all of
the occupants in stasis and therefore unable to create mess, although the same can’t
be said for the scientists keeping an eye on them. Yes I know they are all dead now, and I am
not sympathetic, especially considering they left their skeletonslying about all over the
place; first dry bones and now you? Give me a break! The place is infested with radroaches as it
is. However, the other vaults like Vault 8, Vault
15 and Vault 76 all have to deal with people living in them for a good couple of centuries. They all probably had cleaning rotas, but
there is always going to be that one person who consistently forgets to do a part in hopes
that you’ll just end up taking it on. Especially Vault 29, with all of the inhabitants
being younger than 15 so that place would just be an utter mess… 7. Every Goddamn Building – Mirror’s Edge series
When climbing, chalk is a very useful tool to have with you as it can improve your grip
and gain you extra purchase on difficult ledges and handholds. However, with chalk comes a lot of dust, and
with free runners and climbers infesting the both New City and the City of Glassfrom Mirror’s
Edge and Mirror’s Edge: Catalyst respectively, it isn’t hard to imagine the state of the
roofs and ledges; especially considering that the climbers tend to use hard to reachplaces
that wouldn’t get cleaned, so you know that areas around that city are encrusted in years
old dust. It being called the City of Glass isn’t
a misnomer, either. The place is a shining beacon of neo-futuristic
architecture, and with a lot of glass comes a lot of work for the window cleaners; hopefully
the City Regime managed to get a package deal on that… 6. The Houses – Fortnight Battle Royal
It is never explained what the battle royal island is and why it’s abandoned, but, while
no one may be living there, the houses are still used as a place to duck and cover while
you’re trying to… Battle Royale the best… and that means that
someone must have to keep the place clean and tidy. Some of that includes replacing the walls
and objects that have been smashed for resources by players, and sweeping up all of the dropped
weapons and tat dropped by them when they get killed. Luckily, dead players don’t leave corpses,
so that is one less thing to do. The turnover time for the cleaning must be
a challenge, as it seems that the matches leave only a few minutes before they start
throwing themselves out of that magic sky bus, but I think we’re twisting suspension
of disbelief enough here as it is. Still, whatever company, society or regime
may be running this death-match island, they must have an unlimited supply of pre-grown
trees, dumpsters and abandoned cars; all made out of that strange, wobbly material that
breaks after like three swings of an axe. Squishy… 5. Sen’s Fortress – Dark Souls
While it is more of a gateway to Anor Londo, it is still a Dark Souls level and thus Sen’s
Fortress is not a forgiving place; riddled with booby traps, trap doors and guillotines
swinging from the ceiling, let alone the massive tar pit in the middle. But, as always, there has to be someone that
has to sweep up all the broken pottery and keep the floor signs and bloodstains visible. The titanite demons in the tar pit treat this
place like a hotel, leaving their victims remains lying about all over the place and
not doing anything about the tar at the bottom which just gets everywhere. This put is a pig sty, Titanite! Do you act like this in your own home? The other inhabitants of the fortress are
hardly any friendlier, with Ricard constantly going on about his royal lineage and using
his heavy armour as an excuse not to do any of the sweeping. But Big Hat Logan is still hanging around
and is a good guy to chat with, even if his Big Hat does muffle his hearing somewhat,
[calling] but at least he cleans up after himself, Titanite! 4. Brennenburg Castle – Amnesia: the Dark Decent
As we said before for Bowser’s castle, castles are a faff on to keep clean, but at least
with his all you had to deal with was piranha plants and some unhelpfully placed lava pits. In Alexander von Brennenburg’s castle you’ll
be lucky to even keep track of your feather duster. With hundreds of rooms, including archive
rooms, wine cellars, laboratories, halls, dungeons (and the less said about the sewers
the better), the Prussian castle would be hard enough to clean normally, but a mysterious
force called ‘The Shadow’ inhabits the placeand leaves its own trail of gross, fleshy
growths all over the walls and floors and I’ve tried leaving it to soak overnight
but it just refuses to come off! Also, everyone employed there ends up going
crazy and either running away or going missing, so there’s that too… 3. TETRIS
It is truly surprising what builds up dust, and on the Tetris playing field it can be
a dangerous safety hazard. I know it isn’t necessarily a place you
would consider keeping clean, its not like anyone lives there, but isn’t it nice to
come back to a tidy place when you want to have a quiet game of Tetris? Some of the blocks such as the L and T shapes
don’t need much dusting as they are rotated every which way to get them to fit, but the
square blocks especially collect a whole lot of gack on their top facing side; and even
if the dirt and dust did fall off the blocks, it still ends up all over the floor of the
box for you to sweep up after a Game Over. Not only that, but spiders really love the
top corners of the box and having to climb up the wall of blocks to reach the webs it
is a massive health and safety hazard and a real pain in the neck. Also, don’t get me started on the guys feeding
the blocks down from the top keep throwing their used gum and wrappers down after their
shift; scraping it off of the blocks should be their job! 2. Talos 1 – Prey (2017)
Talos 1 is a gigantic space station in orbit around the moon, acting as a science station
to study the mysterious Typhon organisms and to make plasmids- I mean vigours- I mean Neuromods. It is a massive place, being big enough to
contain god knows how many scientists and crew, so there would obviously be cleaning
crew and caretakers employed to clean up after everyone. However, that doesn’t make the job any easier,
with three levels making up the city sized spaceship, covering crew quarters, laboratories,
lobbies, airlocks, arboretums, the bridge and all of the maintenance shafts, it is an
awful lot of work. The outside of the ship also probably needs
maintenance, getting covered in space debris in orbit around the moon, and it will probably
need a paint job at some point… While dust typically doesn’t settle very
much in zero gravity, the majority of the station works to Earth-like gravity and thus
there is going to be dust and grime building up constantly; and while the laboratories
have to be kept sterilized by the scientists, not all of the inhabitants are so courteous
outside of the science rooms.And yes, I found a page literally explaining how dust collects
on the International Space Station; the internet is truly a wonderous place… 1. The House – Resident Evil 7
What the Baker family were thinking when they brought on a maid I will never know, and neither
will I understandhow they ever managed to afford it, with them making a living solely
on kidnapping, murder and gruesome family bonding, but I suppose someone has to keep
the house from imploding from the sheer state of itself. The house is a derelict plantation ranch,
long beyond saving as a structure;infested with mould, which does nothing to help the
insect infestation, and with the majority of the house apparently only accessible through
keys attached to various dead animals hidden around the house, including a crow, a snake
and a scorpion, and all corresponding to doors decorated in a similar way. Also, the quality of light around the house
is ridiculous, I swear there isn’t a bulb over 40 watts in the entire house, so seeing
any kind of detail is impossible. This is incredibly bad for your eyesight,
no wonder this place is a mess! One useful thing, however, is the staple Resident
Evil impossible travelling box, meaning that you don’t have to hoick your hoover or mop
and bucket up and down the stairs constantly; getting it down the tar pits in Sen’s Fortress
was hard enough… And that’s our list. Have you come across any places in video games
that you think needs a good cleaning? Let us know in the comments below and we will
pass it on to the relevant cleaning crew. You can follow myself and TripleJump on Twitter
here, and while you’re at it, why not support the things you enjoy by having a look at our
patreon. Finally, don’t for get to like the video,
share it with your friends, and subscribe to the channel. I’m Ben from TripleJump, and thanks for
watching.


35 Comments

Lord Thoreck · January 7, 2020 at 6:01 pm

First!

speedwaynutt · January 7, 2020 at 6:06 pm

I imagine the thumbnail location would be a easy clean just throw everything into the lava

Matthew SHAW · January 7, 2020 at 6:28 pm

This is your weirdest video yet, I love it!! Keep it up!!!

GrumpoGrump · January 7, 2020 at 6:30 pm

Couldn't ya just put a portal in space to clean Aperture Laboratories?

JWisejr · January 7, 2020 at 6:40 pm

Love the videos guys! Keep it up

Mike · January 7, 2020 at 6:46 pm

Just all of Mortal Kombat, who going to scrub all that blood? Not me that’s for sure!

Kent Huang · January 7, 2020 at 6:50 pm

What about Mortal Kombat? The whole universe is literally covered in body parts and blood.

Duncan Cox · January 7, 2020 at 6:51 pm

I love how obscure these list are becoming. Great work guys.

Paul Harries · January 7, 2020 at 7:04 pm

Sevastopol Station has a serious bug infestation last time I looked.

I've looked again and apparently it's been dealt with. By burning the station up in the nearby planets atmosphere.

Bit drastic that.

Zeldamaniac14 · January 7, 2020 at 7:43 pm

How about Rapture and maybe Colombia from Bioshock? Splicers are running around killing and no cleaning services are seen.

Dr170 · January 7, 2020 at 7:44 pm

The Intergalactic Cleaning Forces cheered when Sevastopol went boom. Their workers' insurance doesn't cover getting faceraped by Xenomorphs…

Adonis Artaxerxes · January 7, 2020 at 8:44 pm

No one:
Absolutely no one:

Triple jump crew: Dusty tetris

Fingaz Mc · January 7, 2020 at 8:46 pm

Welcome back my dudes

Rory Keeson · January 7, 2020 at 8:54 pm

That Tetris take has to be unique

dave day · January 7, 2020 at 9:49 pm

but wouldnt it be prey 2… if we wanna get serious about this?

Millz Derp · January 7, 2020 at 10:06 pm

What about the Cultaholic Ventures offices in the TripleJump tie-in RPG?

Evan Foulds · January 7, 2020 at 10:09 pm

Hitman….. almost any

Adam McDDcM · January 7, 2020 at 10:32 pm

Is it bad that I recognised Matt Groom's crotch from EpicTV Climbing Daily before I saw the tag? Probably. I'm still stoked that another of my favourite YouTube channels got featured in your vid.

Jordan Restell · January 7, 2020 at 10:38 pm

Literally everywhere in Dishonored needs cleaning – turns out plagues are pretty messy

its matt · January 7, 2020 at 10:43 pm

Splatoon seems a fairly obvious one, more so than Mirrors Edge that’s for certain

Pat Byrne · January 7, 2020 at 10:45 pm

The ship in Dead Space must've been a nightmare to clean and get back to a working order

Nathan Jefferies · January 7, 2020 at 11:02 pm

I dont know why but I immediately thought of any level from "Super Meat Boy".

Mooshty Kracker · January 7, 2020 at 11:10 pm

Splatoon maps

GaryG83 · January 7, 2020 at 11:19 pm

Weirdest..list..ever, love it!

10:41 – Red Dwarf, whoop!

George Whitbread · January 7, 2020 at 11:21 pm

Excuse me…. You didn't give Prey its full title.

Prey (or Prey 2 if you want to get serious about it)

J Mace · January 7, 2020 at 11:35 pm

Tomb Raider. All of the Tomb Raiders.

Unstable Brother · January 7, 2020 at 11:41 pm

You guys are always making top 10 lists feel refreshing 👌

Carey Wolhuter · January 8, 2020 at 12:17 am

“The worst is the squares. You have very dusty squares.

I want to clean your dusty squares from the inside out—“

mya p · January 8, 2020 at 12:41 am

A lot of places in bioshock ahah

Egbert Aethelbald · January 8, 2020 at 12:43 am

The inclusion of Prey is a bit odd considering its spiritual predecessor, System Shock 2, featured a much messier ship than Talos 1. But you have to be more recent than that, I get it.

xerohmega · January 8, 2020 at 1:42 am

I'm just here to support ben

dodgy_doodl3r · January 8, 2020 at 2:54 am

commenting for the Al Gore Rhythms! also hey progamer ben potter! Hey walrus clan!

brian abraham · January 8, 2020 at 3:15 am

Doesn't the Sprawl from Dead Space 2 HAVE to merit consideration? Monsters (half of which are babies, and they're already a ridiculous mess), monster projectiles that seem to be both exploding and mucus based, corpses, the aftermath of Isaac's work, abandoned smoothie bars… on and on.

FeathertopDT · January 8, 2020 at 4:52 am

All video game bathrooms are dirty. All
Of
Them

FeathertopDT · January 8, 2020 at 5:03 am

TETRIS HAHAHAHAHAHAA

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