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Same-day delivery on all bouquets Shop for Mother's Day flowers. Save today! Free shipping and returns on all orders Last verified 30 Jan Free express shipping on all orders Last verified 29 Nov People with healthy self-confidence who make the mistake of entering a relationship with a narcissist quickly become aware of the emotional abuse and cut the relationship short.
Most importantly, they refuse to take the blame. Instead, knowing they are unhappy, they focus on themselves and deal confidently and quickly with a relationship that has no value.
When you doubt yourself and lack confidence, you become the perfect target for a narcissist. Narcissists are appealing at first.
They give the impression of strength and confidence. Their goal is to charm you and make you think it is all about you.
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Of course, if you had known this in advance, you would not have entered the relationship. To avoid entering another relationship based on your self-doubt, ask yourself: How can I take care of myself better?
How can I avoid sending out signals that I need help or a savior, or lots of attention? Nip it in the bud by believing in yourself. Then you will not attract someone who spots a good potential partner because of your low self-esteem.
Some narcissistic traits, when used appropriately with personal boundaries, make for exceptional people.
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Ambition, motivation, even arrogance and desire for power, are good attributes when balanced with humility and not used at the expense of others. Wanting to feel powerful is a positive desire. Needing to feel powerful by putting others down is unhealthy. That was a good clue. Your lack of confidence was the reason you attracted a narcissist.
A colleague of mine has noticed that there is often an imbalance between narcissists and the people they date. Superficially, narcissists are exceptional people dating partners who appear much more ordinary. Such an imbalance in personality, looks, and attributes, where one is extroverted and the other introverted, sets alarm bells ringing.
At bottom, the extroverted, superficially exceptional ones are that way only in their own mind. It is their prey that are the genuine ones, and often quite successful - except that in the shadow of the pretender, they disappear.
Narcissists are picky. If you have allowed a narcissist to prey on your lack of self-confidence, stop! No more downplaying who you truly are. The lesson here is that you are much better than you think you are.
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Embrace the truth and move on! I often suggest to my clients that every person who comes into our lives has been invited by us to show us something about ourselves. How are you neglecting yourself? How are you putting yourself down? In your own nice way, do you feel that you are better than others? Do you subconsciously put others down when you are feeling insecure about yourself? Not all the narcissistic traits may be mirrored in you.
A good question to ask yourself is, What traits are the biggest problem for me, and how do I do that to myself? Then ask how you do it so subconsciously that you had to attract a narcissist to teach you a lesson. This idea is a lot to absorb. It is what you need to shift from being a victim to owning your own journey.
People who have dated a narcissist yet had the guts to move on are bruised emotionally and often collapse into being a victim. Because they are hurt, they feel even less confident of themselves, and that can lead to blaming themselves for staying in the relationship too long. They can become abusive toward themselves and actually perpetuate in themselves the narcissistic tendencies they had the courage to leave.