Being vulnerable with someone may sound like a weakness, but it's actually a huge strength for your love life. Jennifer B. Rhodes, licensed psychologist, dating coach, and the founder of relationship consultancy Rapport Relationships tells Bustle. For some people, it comes more naturally than others. Some people regularly open up, share, emote. Others have their guards so far up that they wouldn't even know how to take them down if they wanted to. But everybody can make themselves vulnerable when they're dating if they're willing to put in the effort - and it can be an effort.
You need to show him or her the person only you know yourself to be. What this does is make us vulnerable. Sometimes, you just have to give it a little time.
Of course, this is a silly thought, but people in love are often very silly. This is an unfortunate truth.
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Most people spend the majority of their earlier years doing their best to shield themselves, to build a fortress around themselves - in other words, to keep people out. If you are making yourself vulnerable, then there is a chance of getting hurt.
Just keep in mind that with the larger the risk, comes the greater the reward. And if you do get hurt, you learn whatever lessons are to be learned and bring them with you into your next relationship. You live on and move on.
Cherish this moment because it is one of the best moments human beings experience in their lives - the moment of choosing to be vulnerable. The most difficult part is going to be maintaining a grip on your reality. Being vulnerable does cause us to worry. It causes us to imagine unlikely yet possible events that, were they to come to fruition, would devastate us.
How To Deal With Feeling Vulnerable In Relationships
The human mind is a powerful thing, but all that power can be difficult to control. Sometimes our thoughts run away from us. We lose control and begin thinking dark thoughts. Sometimes the only thing between a successful relationship and a failed one is your mental capacity for remaining focused on only the future and reality you wish to be a part of. There will be times in your life when you feel vulnerable, and there will be nothing you can do about it.
The reason people have built societies around the concept of love is - in large part - because it feels as if it is out of our control. We feel this way because when we first fall in love, we feel a sort of vulnerability.
This need for another person develops and scares us. Your partner is utterly vulnerable to them, and the last thing you would want to do is to cause them intentional pain and suffering.
How To Deal With Feeling Vulnerable When you eventually show your shadow-self, the biggest fear you have will be the rejection of that ct of your being. What if my partner rejects me, leaves me, hates me, and so on, you say to yourself. Jul 15, But if we dive deeper into the definition, we can see that being susceptible to emotional harm - read as getting hurt, means that you have to open yourself up to feeling something in the first place. Your ability to feel and be vulnerable plays a vital part in your dating and eventual love life success. Dec 26, The Subtle Shaming of Men and Vulnerability We think of confidence as EXCLUDING vulnerability, when in fact, the foundation of .
From a higher perspective, you already know that you are loved, and you are unconditionally loved, but that is not always enough when it comes to dealing with personal anxiety about relationships. Typically, you probably never even thought about your vulnerability in relationships until an event triggered it. Perhaps your partner ended a relationship with you or rejected you in some way, and that left a wound in your soul that never entirely healed.
Being vulnerable in a relationship is a real growth opportunity if you allow it.
Dating feeling vulnerable
Most of our fears about being exposed in a relationship have to do with past wounds of abandonment, neglect, and being deserted emotionally. The key to remember is that you have tremendous strength and power to heal from your past wounds, and more importantly, to not repeat them.
Reframing the experience allowed me to see the experience from a different perspective. Often in relationships, we give our power away to our partners in hopes of avoiding negativity and confrontations.
The truth is that no relationship is perfect, and you need to be able to express your true feelings without fear of upsetting your partner. For a relationship to work, both partners need to be secure enough in themselves to be able to hear their partners voice their concerns and frustrations without getting defensive or reacting as if the relationship is being threatened in some way.
For a relationship to grow or at least to maintain it, both partners need to feel safe and comfortable with who they are and what they want.
Jan 17, How to Be More Vulnerable in Relationships. Many people struggle to be vulnerable in relationships because it means opening themselves up to rejection or ridicule. But not allowing yourself to be vulnerable with friends and loved ones can 83%(6). Apr 20, If you are the only one vulnerable in the relationship, then there's a good chance you're going to make life more difficult for yourself than it necessarily has to be. May 17, Here's why knowing how to be vulnerable and deal with feeling vulnerable are crucial to having a fulfilling life - - - See the author's TEDx .
You need to be able to own your power. If you give your power away to your partner, you are permitting them to dictate your life.
Relationships that work the best are ones where the balance of power energy is almost equal.
Being totally submissive, or even totally dominating in a relationship will not work long-term. It never does.
Attracting the right partner is the critical element to having a fantastic relationship with another. You may have to go through several relationships before you find the right match for you.
Each relationship is a process of discovering who you are. Each one is a learning tool to remind you what you like and dislike in a partnership. The key to remember here is not to keep choosing the same door.