Dating a recovering compulsive gambler We live out different partners and he came to visit me a couple times. In order to be together I must get married, leave everything behind and move to his gambling which is already scary enough how when I know I will be having a lot of stress because of the addict. He did not pay the rent last month. He says he gambles because he feels depressed or stressed and my gambling would heal. He said that if we lived together he would never gamble again but the fact is that he gambled twice when we were physically together. And there are other partners.
Be prepared to provide specific examples of how his gambling has negatively impacted both of you. For example, maybe he called in sick to work or neglected to spend time with you and other loved ones because he was gambling.
His gambling may have put your family in debt. Point out that you are willing to help him get the assistance he needs, but that the destructive behavior cannot continue.
Be prepared to set boundaries, and stick to them. If she is in charge of your finances, you should seek that role.
Change any passwords that you need to and limit the amount of cash and credit your spouse has available to her. Don't make excuses for her or bail her out.
It's also important that you don't pay off any debt that she owes. Paying off the gambler's debt can make the problem worse by enabling the gambler to continue her addiction, says HelpGuide.
dating a gambler?
A gambler recognizing that he has a problem is the biggest step in seeking treatment, says HelpGuide. If your spouse is ready to get help, organizations such as Gamblers Anonymous and treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy have been known to help. A debt counselor can also be helpful.
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If your spouse refuses to seek treatment, you can't force him to get help. Let him know that you are there to support and encourage him in the treatment process, if he changes his mind. Stick to the boundaries you set and seek help for yourself.
Gam-Anon is a support group for those with loved ones with a gambling addiction. It can help to talk with others who understand what you are going through. Stacey Elkins is a writer based in Chicago.
She earned a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Southern Illinois University in Carbondale and a Masters in social work from the University of Illinois in Chicago, where she specialized in mental health. By: Stacey Elkins. Learn about Gambling Addictions Educate yourself about gambling addictions. Recognize Denial is Common Someone who struggles with an addiction is often in denial about his circumstances or may not want to seek treatment, according to experts with the Mayo Clinic.
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How to Diagnose Compulsive Gambling
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Dating a problem gambler
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Jul 17, did anybody date a gambler? I did and he was a manipulative. and obsessive. it went on for two years now what my question is. are those characteristics to do with Gambling? or was he just mad. he was also addicted to dating sites. was very isolated when I met him. I know he was seeing at one point while with me a girl thru dating site. Sep 13, "A problem gambler can find it much harder to get help," he says. "Some people don't even know it's treatable." According to Volberg, fewer than 5of problem gamblers enter into. This doesn't mean you have to give into the gambler's whims, but it is good to keep your temper in check, be patient with his treatment and recovery and to make sure you don't exclude your husband from the family. Don't envision him as the enemy. Envision his addiction as the problem .
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