However, for quite some time, the distance was not the primary challenge in our relationship. Instead, it was religion. Or, rather, lack of religion. Despite my attempts to evade it, I fell in love with someone whose worldview appeared opposite to my own. Our relationship has taught me more about unconditional love than any sermon ever did.
We decorate our Christmas tree and light our menorah. We talk about peace, justice, compassion, generosity and God - referencing religions far beyond our own, across time, distance, and culture. We get it.
It makes sense that so many of us dream, initially at least, that we will find true love with a person who shares the same religious label, because we think it means they have walked the same religious path that we have. We naturally look for someone who has made the same leaps of faith, who has gone through the same internal transformation, who nods along knowingly as we describe our indescribable connection to something invisible.
We imagine someone who gets us, who shares the same truth or God or gods that we do, or, perhaps, who has uttered the same denials as us, or who remains as steadfastly unsure about the meaning of it all as we ourselves are. The assumption here is that sharing the same religion is a shortcut to deeper unity.
But praying the same words in the same order, or reading the same sacred book through and through again, or singing the same songs are not necessarily a gateway to a meaningful connection. Each journey of faith is unique and personal. No two believers are alike. And, as anyone in any relationship will tell you, no two people are alike. Everyone has their own views, opinions and convictions, regardless of their chosen religion or lack of one.
Some relationships are interfaith, but all relationships are inter-belief. What is that necessary and sufficient factor?
We have found that it is far more important to share the same values than the same religion. It is true that some values are associated more closely with certain religion affiliations. But values do not just take root inside a person as a result of their religion, of how they have chosen to describe or name or worship God.
We choose our values because of myriad factors: people we love; our experiences; practices to which we dedicate ourselves; books we read; thoughts we think; morals we have proven. Our values shape us, as our journeys through life - and our journeys through faith - play out.
In faith, as in love, we leap.
We hope. We whisper holy words, words that hold power, maybe magic. We pilgrimage across whatever distances necessary. I think the only reason we lasted as long as we did as a couple was because we were young, and we were extremely emotionally and sexually compatible.
Christian Dating Myth #2: "The Bible has clearly defined guidelines for dating."
The differences in values just didn't matter that much since we were just in high school. The last year of our relationship things became glaringly obvious.
He had started his first year at a local college he really probably would never leave our tiny townI was in my senior year of college applying to far away schools and taking a class called theory of knowledge. I was questioning everything and finding less and less reason to believe in any god or religion. I was looking into biology programs at a variety of research universities and he couldn't even acknowledge that the Earth was over years old.
We occasionally debated about evolution and various religious beliefs but I could shut him down so quickly with my logic that he eventually gave up. We broke up because of it.
It was the right thing but it was definitely the most painful break up I've ever gone through, even if I was just a kid.
Being in love with someone who thinks you are going to hell and refuses to examine why is incredibly painful. I vowed to never date a religious person ever again. Oh yes, I'm Christian and it's the core of who I am. I can't imagine being married to someone who [doesn't] share those beliefs. Especially because I'd like to raise our kids that way. It wouldn't be fair to the guy anyway because I believe in waiting til marriage to have sex.
I've had to turn down dates multiple times due to this.
It sucks now but I know in the end I wouldn't be happy with someone who doesn't share my beliefs. It was definitely a big factor in one breakup - he was an atheist, I'm pagan. I don't care if an SO has any interest in my religion - I'm actually more comfortable with a partner of a different faith than me, or one that's not religious at all.
I'm pretty independent and my religion is something that I don't discuss much outside my spiritual community. I don't often talk about with my partners unless they bring it up or they're curious why I'm tromping off to the woods with a pack of women for the weekend.
Christian dating someone different religion
What I couldn't deal with was him being openly disdainful of my religious practice, and telling me that he hated that I was a spiritual person it was something he knew about me from early on, so I'm not sure why he got into the relationship in the first place if this was going to be an issue for him. Is your religion or spirituality an important part of your life? Do you like going to church, mosque, synagogue, or the temple every week?
Would you miss your connection with God or Allah if it were gone? If you continue to date or even marry someone of a different religion, chances are you will be drawn away from your faith.
Do they support your relationship?
Nov 18, When we - a Muslim and a Christian - fell in love, we didn't think much about the differences in our religions. (People falling in love usually don't think much, full stop.) We figured what we did share - similar values, similar worldviews, and . Don't expect your partner to convert to your religion. Never date or marry someone with the hope or expectation that he or she will change. If you're dating someone with different religious beliefs, you can expect him or her to stay the same. It's not likely that you'll convert your partner to . Oct 25, Yep, my first love was from a completely different religious background and that's why things ended before we left high school. We dated Author: Rachel Shatto.
They want the best for you. They love and care for you. Listen to their reasoning. Try not to get defensive or hurt; remember that they want the best for you. We have a fantastic relationship - I love that girl! One of the reasons we get along so well is because we talk about our faiths all the time. She tells me how the Muslim religion works, and I tell her about Christianity.
Christian Connection is an award-winning Christian dating website in the UK, Australia, Hong Kong, Singapore, USA and Canada. Since the UK launch in , thousands of Christians have found friendship, love and marriage through the site. Nov 16, A Muslim woman set to marry a Christian man worries about their different religions. Mariella Frostrup says it's her family and partner who matter most. If you have a dilemma, send a brief email. The Golden Rule in Christian Dating | Desiring God.
Marriage is complicated and can be a lot of hard workand marrying someone of a different religion makes things more difficult.
Start opening up those discussions now.
Instead, accept their disappointment. Be honest with them. Never date or marry someone with the hope or expectation that he or she will change. You have to love and accept who your partner is without trying to change him.
Try to hold on to your faith and stay true to who you are.