Aspie dating is not unusual but has unique challenges that will generally need to be addressed as time goes by. There are a number of factors to consider when looking at Aspie dating and adults with rger's could consider the following points. Aspie dating may be accompanied by several problems. These are not insurmountable but can have a negative impact on the dating process. Aspie dating is not for the faint-hearted but can result in long-term relationships and, eventually, marriage. Skip to content.
There are a number of factors to consider when looking at Aspie dating and adults with rger's could consider the following points. Aspie dating may be accompanied by several problems. These are not insurmountable but can have a negative impact on the dating process.
Aspie dating reddit
Aspie dating is not for the faint-hearted but can result in long-term relationships and, eventually, marriage. Skip to content. Challenges in Aspie Dating Aspie dating is not unusual but has unique challenges that will generally need to be addressed as time goes by. Aspies are normally more emotionally immature than their peers, and this can put pressure on dating if the people are the same age. My autistic boyfriend wanted us to have sex. He is a virgin and a lot younger than me.
How should we proceed? Do you want to have sex with him? Do you think he is the one? Follow your gut instinct, and if you don't think you should, don't.
If you think you should, then take proper precautions to avoid pregnancy, make sure you choose somewhere safe and nice and be absolutely certain this is really what you want.
You do not have to do anything you don't want to, and you can even change your mind at any time and go home. Not Helpful 1 Helpful 5.
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. With almost any situation, the key to being with an Aspie is patience, and not getting stressed. Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0. Apologising may not come easily to your partner. However, it is important to never doubt your partner because of their Autism and to always be honest with them if they have said something wrong.
Remember that every autistic person is different. Not all of these tips may apply to your partner. Avoid surprises. Schedule changes can surprise and upset Aspies, even if the change is something they might like.
Don't deny, suppress or neglect your own needs in favor of your partner's needs - even though they might not sense them or understand them completely, that doesn't mean they're not happy to help you pursue your own happiness. Don't make fun of them! They can't help their differences.
Aspie to Aspie: Relationships
Calling them wimps or cowards, even teasingly, can hurt their feelings. Helpful Not Helpful 3. Aspies are often bullied, and may not stand up for themselves very well, especially if the bullying is subtle. Be prepared to stand up for your aspie. Helpful 92 Not Helpful 7.
Try not to take out your bad day on your partner, as autistic people don't deal well with angry loved ones. Helpful 75 Not Helpful 6. Helpful Not Helpful You may be given a hard time for having an aspie boyfriend or girlfriend, this comes from people who have little or no knowledge of autism or those who are prejudiced against autistic people.
Helpful 9 Not Helpful 0. Along those same lines, some are fine with being called an Aspie, and some are not.
Helpful 3 Not Helpful 2. Related wikiHows. More References 4. Co-authors: ated: December 13, Categories: Romantic Relationships and Autism. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been rea times. Reader Success Stories. Amber Smith Oct 7, He was feeling very isolated and antisocial. This site helped me find ways to help him and helped him tell me how to help him.
It also cleared up a lot for him about his "disability. Rated this article:. SS Stacey S. Feb 11, It was like the heavens parted and so much of our relationship, the good, the challenges, the communication styles, were clarified. This website is a great resource, thank you the insight! RT Rachel Thomas Mar 24, I can definitely relate to this and have experienced most, if not all, and will share. Thank you! SR Saul Rodrguez Jul 30, Now I know how to deal with it.
JO John Ong Jun 29, I can relate big time. A sure-fire guide for anyone who's NT neurotypical and wants to date an Aspie!
Feb 06, I too am dating an aspie (i have bipolar) and we have had a month from hell where i thought he couldnt possibly love me after he's been so distant since i found out im pregnant! Ive done a lot of reading about relationships with rgers and come to realise that he has not been rejecting me (as was my perception) but that this is a serious. Challenges in Aspie Dating. Aspie dating is not unusual but has unique challenges that will generally need to be addressed as time goes by. There are a number of factors to consider when looking at Aspie dating and adults with rger's could consider the following points. Aspies are normally more emotionally immature than their peers, and this can put pressure on dating if the people are. r/rgers_dating: A sub with the intention of hopefully making it easier for people with rgers (or other disorders on the Autism .
M Michelle Sep 27, Thank you. RK Ron Key May 30, This helped me get and keep a relationship with her.
Thank you for writing this! SC Susan Clearman Jun 3, A Anonymous May 23, JT Jo Tobias Nov 11, I do not however exchange emails with anyone from my blog. Best wishes. I dated an Aspie guy. We were both age After a few months, he did an abrupt change. Seemed very narssisitic.
For a positive, safe, helpful, and productive conversation with partners and/or spouses of adults with rgers, or Aspies with NT partners/spouses. The intent of this group is to find positive ground to nurture and grow relationships between NT/AS persons, . Aspie Singles is by and for people on the Autism Spectrum. We provide a safe place for Autism Dating / rgers Dating and for making new friends with rgers or on the Autism Spectrum. Signing up for finding love or for making friends on the spectrum is easy. Free members can look around, befriend other members and use the forum. Oct 05, I think this needs to be put in context. Women seem to put an umbrella over themselves as having one single feminine identity when it comes to questions like this. In reality however, women are all very different and many different groups of women.
I did all the giving and was over-giving. He did a lot of passive-aggressive stuff. He wanted no one to depend or count on him for anything. That 22 things a women needs to know. She said even Aspie women have as much trouble dealing with an Aspie man as NT. He refused to open up and talk about things. I was called everything from a drama queen, to schizo, to a negative thinker. I tried everything, even just leaving him alone and ignoring him.
There was no romance. We could only talk about his interests. I got so burned out. We broke up and I spend months recovering afterward, physically. I had extreme fatigue, IBS, my thyroid went crazy and I had bipolar-like cycles.
The person that was hurt and I are on good terms. I have had much regret and remorse.
Conversations that were truly two sided - prior to him the only other men I felt strong romantic feelings for were patient listeners who listened to my never-ending stream of observations and thoughtsbut. I got bored and out of love because their conversational contributions began to seem too predictable, unresponsive, or uninteresting once I got to know them well enough.
Life through the eyes of a female with rgers
Right now my aspie is in a tailspin I think regarding out connection. It all occurred almost exactly as you wrote. Its like normal anxiety of overwhelming the neurotypicals in my life with my intensity x because I care about him and want so badly not to cause him anxiety and know that this is so easy to do. And so it remains, an issue taking up a large part of my world of thought that I have no ability to solve. I wish I knew more about how to communicate with him when he is in this state.
Right now, I just communicate when I have a thought or observation regarding our shared interests and he seems to always really appreciate that and sometimes seems relieved that I still bother to reach out. Thanks for this site. It really helped me understand myself and how even with my empathy, imagination, wild creativity, emotions, I likely do have this and there is more too my challenging life then the add diagnosis I received earlier in life.
Have you considered asking him what he needs? I have found with aspie men I have talked with that being as direct and as revealing as possible might cause an initial anger or defense, but generally really opens the lines of communication. I identify so much with your observations, and your history, and here I think you have unravelled a complicated set of parameters and states of mind and made them easy to comprehend for everyone. There is one thing that I found very challenging though - your statement that there was no love or it was not about love.
Yes there is obsession, desire, mania even, but to say that love is not a part of this seems a little odd. Perhaps it might be better to say that love is a part of a relationship, in the same way as part of our other passions.
No. If you find the prospective dating partner attractive and easy to relate to, you wouldn't have too many problems wooing the person over even if they find your idiosyncratic behaviour initially daunting. It is easy to have people written off ov. Jul 11, How to Date an Aspie. If you're a neurotypical person dating an autistic person, it's a good idea to educate yourself on how an aspie will act in various relationship situation, or you might get offended by his/her seemingly cold attitude%. Oct 07, These are my personal observations about the Aspie to Aspie relationship A relationship between two people with rgers, whether platonic or romantic, can move at a very high-speed when in comparison to relationships between one person with rgers and one person without rgers (Neurotypical: NT). I believe this is because both individuals are able to.
For example, I love horses. I love my ex even though he hurt me so much and I have had to let him go. I love the smell of fresh cut grass.
For me rgers means I fall a little bit in love with everyone and everything around me, lose myself in them. Does that make sense?
Autistic people, what do you wish more people knew about Autism? - (r/AskReddit)
I currently believe that any form of fear or attachment is not love. True love is able to release fear and attachment of loss or want of ownership. I love everyone. I believe I come on too strong and have always had a tendency to monopolize them without the intent to be mean to them.
It is a 2 way street. I am blessed to have a NT female friend who is Variety is the spice of life! I am now obsessed with your post so much helpful that I should remember or see this every day But you say identifying world on my own philosophy and experience is important.
How could I use this. May be I am too hurry to enhance my capacity. I was in an aspie-aspie relationship. There was an enormous amount of positive energy and so much chemistry right when we first met. He looked weird, nerdy, funny, but intelligent and so passionate about his medical neuro science reading thingy and he just melted my heart. I was obsessed with my own stuff too.
So we were unstoppable when we shared our stories. I found him a very good listener while I truly enjoyed listening to his new discoveries. I was never tired of listening to him and he seemed to be the same.
It was a very melancholic but funny relationship, also very loyal and transparent. We were lucky that we got along very well in all cts and we developed emotional interdependence in such a short time.
In our case, a week! Then I woke up this morning thinking of you. Basically I felt as if he was me and I was him and that was the most relaxing time of my life. No pretending.
Nothing to worry about. Total freedom!!! Somehow, it took us around two 2 years to be very very sure that we were in love! So we just kept telling each other the anecdotes and what we feel e. I also found out that he meant what he said. He was loyal and truthful. Unfortunately, he passed away unexpectedly. I lost my best friend and everything. I start Googling aspie-aspie relationship and I am happy to know that someone has blogged about it.
Thanks for this!! I am so sorry for your loss. I know the type of relationship you mention. It is rare and a true blessing. Much love to you and thank you for sharing. I am sorry to hear of your loss as well. I hope you will find and develop other relationships both platonic and romantic in your own time. I lost my mother last year. She was like an autism whisperer.
I read your post 1 year ago and meanwhile I started to write a book for which I really would like your input - at least your permission to reproduce your post. How are you doing these days, a year later? Has life tried to make it good again with you? I cannot even start to imagine how it is to experience loss, even if I try it at least a couple of time every week, just in case you know, aspie brain being preventive and stuff, pff.
Many thanks for your answer and the permission to use your post! I empathize with you, having lost everything last year, contemplating suicide as a logical choice, I was surprised, a year later to meet another person with whom I FINALLY can communicate.
After 40 years of failures, everywhere. We cannot live together because we both understand we need our own space and time, we have a structured schedule in which we blend in harmony. I thank you deeply for your post which I read already months ago when I was looking for answers about aspie-aspie relationships, you gave me the hope which was needed in the first months of adjustments with her.
There are NO books about aspie-aspie, only dramatizing books about mixed relationships, all mostly or completely negative. A lot of love to you.
Thank you for understanding. I am very happy for your new place in life. Best to you!