Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend's ex. They wholeheartedly believe that it's wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they'd never talk to that person again. They believe this is something everybody knows, that they're just following the rules. What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight. This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities. If you're gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend's ex at some point.
If you want to cry or scream into a pillow over the breakup, allow yourself to do it. Avoiding negative feelings can extend the time you feel angry or sad. Instead of repressing your emotions, allow yourself to feel the emotions from the breakup so that you can get over it quicker.
Lean into the feelings instead. Avoid doing things just to get back at your ex, like dating one of their friends in retaliation.
Write down a list of reasons why you and your ex broke up. Think about the reasons you broke up with your ex in the first place. If you're concerned about your friend because of prior experiences with your ex, it's okay to express that.
Just make sure to keep to the facts so that it doesn't look like you're bashing your ex. Signs of an unhealthy relationship include constant fighting, belittling, volatility, manipulation, and jealousy. Get rid of stuff that reminds you of your ex.
If you have items from the relationship, it may be harder to get over your ex. Get rid of anything sentimental that you own to help distance yourself from them.
Jun 04, Whether you're gay, straight, bi, or not into labels, dating a friend's ex can absolutely be done without sacrificing your friendship - you just have to follow a few simple guidelines. 1. Don't Author: Lindsay King-Miller. Apr 12, How to Deal when an Ex Dates a Friend. Breakups can be tough. It's even worse when your ex and a current friend decide to date. Feelings of jealousy, self-consciousness, sadness, and anger are prevalent in such an emotionally-charged 74%(28). Mar 17, It doesn't matter how long you dated your ex, who broke up with who, or if you're still sometimes hooking up with him, it still feels like a slap in the face to find out your friend is dating him. I mean like Gretchen Weiners said, ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends, that's just like, Continued.
This will potentially reduce your negative feelings and help you maintain your friendship. Stop following your ex on social media. Following what your ex and friend are doing online is unhealthy and could help feed negative emotions. Distancing yourself from that imagery may help you get over the breakup and prevent you from feeling angry or sad at the situation.
You don't have to block your ex, but you can if it makes you feel better. Method 3 of Take a break from seeing your friend. Stop calling, texting, and asking to hang out with your friend. If you need to see them every day because you go to the same school or job, have a conversation with them so that they aren't confused as to why you stopped hanging out with them.
Distancing yourself from the new relationship may prevent you from getting jealous or angry. If negative feelings are still prevalent in your mind, it may be best to avoid both of them until you feel better about it. I still want the best for you, so I think I need a break from hanging out with both of you.
I hope you can understand that. However, remember that your friend and your ex are both separate people from you, and that their relationships are their own. Focus on being the best person you can be. Taking time to focus on building your strengths can boost your confidence and help you move forward.
It can also help you gain a better understanding of who you are as a person, independent of other people in your life. Hang out with other friends to take your mind off the situation.
Call other friends and make plans to hang out or put yourself in social situations so that you can meet new friends. Having friends around for support and being social when you're upset can make you feel better about the situation.
You could also explain the situation to your other friend if you need to get it off your chest or talk about it to someone else. Preoccupy your mind with an activity or hobby.
Dating Your Friend's Ex
Treat yourself to something that brings you joy. Think of something that really brings you joy, like your favorite food, a trip to the beach, or a relaxing spa day, and treat yourself. You can also spend time with other friends who are emotionally supportive.
Doing positive things for yourself can help center you and keep your mind off of the situation. Rekindle your friendship when you're ready. Think about the situation and reach out to your friend when you're no longer upset about them dating your ex. You may even be able to build a relationship with your ex so that things aren't awkward in group settings. Call or text your friend and ask to hang out, even if you haven't in a while.
Jul 16, Here's how to deal if your ex and friend start dating. After I found out my ex and friend were dating, I cried for hours on my best friend's couch. There was a . Only you can judge how close you and your friend are, but if we're talking about your best friend or someone you see often, that alone can deter you from dating their ex. "Situations are not black and white," dating coach Sebastian Callow told the Telegraph. "My rule of thumb is that it's fine unless it is a very good friend. It's always wrong to date your best friend's ex, right? Despite what girl code might say, it's not always so black and white. I'm not saying go ahead and jump your friend's ex right now. It all comes down to how your friend feels about it. If it's going to hurt her, is it really worth it? Remember, it's a tricky situation and if.
Talk about why you felt bad but explain that you're ready to move on. You can say something like, "Hey Kendra, I know it's been a while but do you want to hang out? I miss you! Then this is an unhealthy situation and he shouldn't be in a relationship with your friend.
If this is the case, it might be best to sit down and have a conversation with both of them. Not Helpful 3 Helpful It will take time for you to get over them. Do things that preoccupy your mind and try meeting new people or hanging out with other friends.
Even though it doesn't seem possible right now, your sad feelings will eventually pass and you can meet someone even better. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Related wikiHows. More References 5. About This Article. Co-authors: ated: September 1, Categories: Former Relationships. Article Summary X To deal when your ex dates your friend, talk to your friend so you can work through your emotions and maintain your friendship without feeling sad or angry.
Your friend didn't give you permission.
Deutsch: Damit klarkommen dass dein Ex mit einer Freundin von dir ausgeht. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been rea times. Reader Success Stories. GU Gerard Urie May 30, Did the relationship only last a few weeks?
May 25, Can I get away with dating my friend's ex? Will he be able to handle this?-Obsessed Owen. The Answer. Carlos, This is a tough one, because dating a friend's ex is one of the most essential dating. Jun 14, I think, "My ex is dating my friend" is very common, especially if you live in the suburbs, where everyone knows everyone. If you find yourself in this situation, here are some tips on how to handle it and how to keep from going insane.
Was it ever official? Was it more of a fling? It was a messy breakup. The odds of her getting upset having him around are high. At the very least, wait a while so she can move on. Be respectful and give her time to get over him.
Seeing the two of you together will just hurt her. Do you really want to do that to your best friend? She gets upset when you mention him. Try bringing up his name and see how she reacts. Does she explode or start crying? Does she seem agitated? Dating him is like pouring salt in the wound. Give her a break.
My Best Friend Is Dating My Ex! Help?!
He cheated on her. Cheaters are never worth losing a friend over. You ask and she flips out. Do I really need to spell it out for you?
Best friend dating ex
Listen to her. Forget about him. When you love her more than him. Is your friendship more important than some guy? If you love your best friend far more than her ex, do the right thing and find another guy. A crush passes, but a best friend is forever. They just broke up. You might be able to date him, but not right now. Never, under any circumstances, try to date the ex right after they broke up.
Even if it was a mutual breakup.
Give it a little time. There you have it.